My feelings about networking can be defined in one sentence: to be successful in business, you have to network.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, I attended a networking even in Minneapolis over the summer. The person with whom I attended worked the room, giving everybody a hug and had several drinks... you can imagine how awkward I was feeling by the end of it. By the time we left, everyone there knew who she was, mostly because she had forced her her drunk hug on them, and most did not have a favorable impression of her.
These two polar examples are only the beginning of my list of ways not to think about networking, and I could probably write a book on how not to network.
Networking can't be haphazard, grabbing every business card and clinking every glass, if you want to be successful. There are simple things that should be done no matter, like shaking hands, smiling, asking for a card, etc, so in an effort to keep things positive, I'll share three actions you can take at any networking even that will help you meet the right people. Whether you're at a booth or working the room, follow these three steps, and you'll walk away with the best contacts possible.
The two chickens in the above comic show just what most people seem to struggle with in their networking: building trust. One is too eager to take advantage of the other, while the second is probably just there for the drink and food. As you take the following steps into account, remember that the entire purpose of networking events is to find people with whom you can build trust, adding a layer of strength to your network that has no substitute.
1. Locate "key players."
When you first walk in, grab a plate of food, a soda, etc, and then spend a few minutes soaking in the atmosphere. As you do, you'll notice these key players are actually pretty easy to spot. They usually have a few people around them, smile, and usually aren't pushy. They are confident. They frequently stay in one place.
Key Players may or may not be executives. Don't think for a second someone not having a C-level title makes them a waste of your time. Quite the contrary, key players come from all kinds of positions, corporate or otherwise. That recent college grad in the corner talking about social media marketing may become one of your greatest open doors to networking with his higher-ups, former professors and even his friends.
The idea is to talk to these people to and listen in on their conversations to figure out who's got a solid corporate position, who owns their own business, and who will simply be a valuable asset in your network.
2. Set up 3 lunch appointments with these key players.
I once worked in a financial advising office where the CEO of the group told us that he had spent $3500 the previous year on meals. I'm 100% sure that he didn't close or even talk business with every one of these people. If it was important for him, a multi-millionaire, to continue to build relationships day in and day out, then those of us who aren't quite there yet should learn from that and follow such an example.
Every time I'm invited to lunch, I go. I know I might get pitched on a product or service. That's okay. I want these people in my network, because they aren't afraid to sell what they believe in.
Lunch is a very quick way to get to trust someone and get a stronger idea of what their skills and experience are. Invite these people out, schedule it at a place near their office, and follow up with them the day before to make sure it's still going to work. As you make these invitations, do so carefully.
Be careful to not make more than three of these, though, because if you invite everyone out, people will catch on to that and think you're up to something.
3. Don't drink alcohol.
Before you say, "Oh, come on, Dennis. One drink won't hurt," or "I need alcohol at social event to be able to put myself out there," I want to warn you: the moment that alcohol hits your bloodstream and goes to your brain, your judgement begins to be impaired. What may seem like a "great conversation" while you're under the influence could very well be a huge waste of your time.
If you want to be impressive, stay away from the drinks and even take it easy on the finger food. (If a full-blown meal is being served, however, by all means, eat up.) Instead, get out of your comfort zone, start to make small talk with someone, and then move it in the direction of what their business does or even the person's personal life.
If you're struggling thinking of an ice breaker, here's a few tips on getting a conversation going at networking events.
Particularly if you're young, a sober mind is going to be essential for you making a good impression on others. It will keep your speech clear. It will help you see who's got legit products/goods/services, and who the charlatans and gibberish-talking fools are.
And while we're on that subject...
Bonus: Stay away from the Multi-level Market guys.
Everyone knows who these guys are and why they're at the event: to get people to buy into their pyramid scheme and "build their business" so they can become the Senior-Most-Executive-Top-of-the-Food-Chain-Who-Doesn't-Have-to-Work-Anymore guy, and promises that so can you.
Being seen with these people can instantly hurt your credibility at any event, and I'm not kidding when I say that. Most strong business executives stay away from these companies for a reason. Many such companies have been given cease and desist orders, and almost all require a buy-in fee.
Any time the person won't directly answer you about what exactly their company does, what its name is, or if you hear something to the tune of, "Just pay $399 right now and the opportunity to be an independent business owner is yours," quickly close down the conversation and high-tail it out of there. It may seem rude, but it's to your (and the other person's) benefit.
....Still don't know what to do to get a good networking conversation going? Go with a friend.
I once sat on a Southwest flight between two guys from the same company, from Tampa, FL to Las Vegas. One asked, "So Dennis, what do you do?" After my elevator speech, the other one piped in and started asking me questions about me, what I do, my family, etc. Now, granted, we were together for five hours, and we were able to build trust over that time period.
One guy was a little awkward, but was clearly interested in getting to know me, so the other guy helped him out. They made a great team, as they played off each other's skills and questions. Find your most extroverted friend and invite them to attend with you; it'll pay off, and will keep you from just holing up in a corner by yourself.
